You can't make this stuff up

I have had a week and a half. My mom arrived to post to be here for our 5 year olds birthday. The day before she comes down with lice (should be read in a voice in your head usually reserved for snakes or cholora or something along those lines) 3 girls don't show up at the party - one has it too (but the mom has since said it was 'just sand') another mother couldn't handle it and the other mother (from an Axis of Evil country) called to say she could not send her daughter because she had to take her to the doctor to be checked for lice. I asked if she thought she had it too - 'No, my daughter would never have it because it is a filthy thing. ' Um, whatever.

Thing go along as normal until the day of the ballet recital (which turned out to be more a way for the school to teach 5 year olds who to either prepare for a cheerleading career or one of pole dancer) mom still here. I let the other kid play with all the German boys after school on the playground and I come home at 3:30 (recital is at 6) My mom is at the table with a weird towel on her arm chatting. Finally I insist she show me what she has hidden under the towel - that would be a shattered and dislocated wrist. Super news. I think she thought she could just hide it all night.

And since I live in America's hat aka a true hardship post if ever there was one.  We had to drive into the US because ER wait times are 27 hours on average here. I missed my daughters first pole dancing/cheerleading/'ballet' recital. Sob.

That was followed by a trip to the US the next day and the following day for surgery.

It gets better.

After she comes out of surgery and is fine but loopy I call the husband to tell him. Some random guy answers his phone and says "Um, he went home." Pardon? Why?! "Um, I think a kid got sick or hurt or something." Turns out our pole dancer daughter ruptured her ear drum for the 2nd time in 5 weeks. Super news.

The moral of this story? Don't invite my mom to your house because bad things will happen? Life happens? If your another parent at school it is not a good time to hassle me for things as the crazy German mother found out on Friday "A, why have you not turned in your son's 10 page essay on why he loves his teacher, complete with watercolours and styled photos?"